I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
she wants me to text her or call her all the time when we are apart...this is not high school...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I just want you to know if you wake up tomorrow morning and wreak of mustard, I was not involved.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
I only wish the guy being lead around by his cock at the drag show was the weirdest part of my night.
Is my lip ring still in your hair?
I didn't hate myself when I woke up today, that's improvement right?
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
I'm FaceTiming Pizza Hut.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I once broke a mans heart just to get laid by a premature ejaculator
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
