plz talk dirty to me
Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
did that guy on the oscars really just tell me to text a dolphin?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
so the x-ray technician didnt buy my story of falling off a curb. she said a fall of that height couldnt snap the bone that way. bitch called me a drunken idiot too. if she wasnt so hot i'd be angry
Wouldn't it be fantastic if the corporate world cared less about about our GPA and focused more on our mastery of social drunkenness?
I hope your fat roommate breaks the bunkbed and crushes you in your sleep
Woke her up in the middle of the night with the smell from a fart. So proud of my colon.
I don't trust myself to shower and not drown.
I think that's why god made me a woman. Bc it's harder to slap people in the face with a vagina.
There's a whistle here and I just want to play my whistle song on it.
We need a hype man... Like a DMX type dude to just up the ante constantly...
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
Randomize
