"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Just invented taco cereal.
Apparently you missed the drunkest me ever documented. I slept on the hardwood floor and left my pants on the porch to give u a frame of reference.
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
You made me brush your teeth last night......for 47 minutes.
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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