I don't usually arrange sex via text message
im typing and i feel like my hands are on backwards.
Stop texting me, I'm right here.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
high enough to want to lick peanut butter off of Michael Buble's vocal chords as he serenades me.
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
how does someone with a Masters Degree leave poop in an ashtray in the sink? It just blows my mind
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Is talking to an iron man poster a good or bad indicator that you've been drinking too much?
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
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