K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
All I remember is that the bartender wouldn't give me scissors cuz I was too drunk
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
I got to walk around for eight hours wearing power armor and acting camp. No way I wouldn't love it.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
You know your Halloween costume is slutty when you have to shave your pubes to wear it.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
why did you kick open the doors at church screaming whos ready to party?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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