I'm really into asian looking animals
your room smells of hookers.
And success
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
he just found out the funeral is this morning so i'm wearing last night's clothes and look like a total slut.
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I was scoping hash out of our weed jar with a spoon and I realized we need to buy actual utensils. This plastic shit is killing me I've broke 3 spoons
definitely not taking the whole return culture shock so well...drinking a 100 proof rootbeer vodka float out of a german beer mass
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
Just keep in mind that she didn't start telling you you had the largest penis she had ever seen until AFTER she found out about your multi-million-dollar trust fund.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I was at a crossroads, dude. Like, do I wanna eat chicken McNuggets or talk about my feelings?
So you thought it was a good idea to make plans for the same time same place with the guy you were sort of dating AND his best friend you slept with?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
What can I say, like your penis. The fact that I like the person attached to it helps too
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