covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
I don't see why you're so upset, it's not like you were wearing pants either.
She told me my parents were awesome for leaving me uncircumcised...
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
So I am watching ghostbusters and I realized Rick moranis is basically in the friends zone than he turns into the key master bangs her and it leads to the end of the world...maybe there is a reason people are in the friend zone
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
I just bartered a blowjob for the ex-fiancée's engagement ring. FTW!
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