I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
We couldve played the bring a random boy to lunch game but i made him go home
Holy fucking shit the worst thing for a hangover ever--A FUCKING BOLLYWOOD MOVIE BLARING IN CLASS
Hey can you text me Heidi's phone number. I just stapled her mattress to the wall and I want to send her a picture of it.
I just want to emotionally destroy him but also find out how big his dick is so this is perfect
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I woke up in my basement holding someone else's underwear and a bottle of mouthwash . I wish I could explain more than that but i can't remember ...
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
