you still trying to smash that chick?
it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
Thanks for stealing lime trees for me at 4:00 am. We're well on our way to having sustainable supplies for mojitos this summer.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
My afternoon will now be spent googling genital warts. I think my life is over.
Fuck you. You would only tell me how to get to your house in Spanish.
I gave up trying to understand them years ago. Now I'm just trying to fuck them.
I am sufficiently unimpressed with the options available to my freshly shaved self tonight.
Add caroling to the list of things we need to do in an elevator
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
You snapped me at 3am drunk laying on your floor asking if I knew how we couldn't have predicted the housing crisis.
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
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