she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
Was just shown the photos from a professional photoshoot my aunt had for their dog...not drunk enough for this...
he urdandictionary'ed 'tease' on his phone and made me read through all the definitions. Am i really that bad?
You slept in the bed with him... with your top off.... and just made out with him....
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sweating while I eat mac and cheese. That fat.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I think I'm going to contact pbr and see if they'll sponsor our dreams
Besides the fact that the only male who has shown an interest in me in the last 5 months has a strange and unfortunate resemblance to fucking Frodo, I've been good thanks
My legs r really sober for running now
I don't think that's how sobriety works.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Update: just imagined being dirty talked to in an Irish brogue and I think my vagina became a sentient being.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
I keep worrying the police are going to come looking for us.
For which one? Starting a fire on my porch or having sex on my porch?
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
I just bought sparkling water with plan B. I am the most basic bitch to ever exist.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
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