There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
Note left in log book: "4:30am a guy was caught masturbating in the bathroom and passed out in his own juices and we had to take the door off the hinges."
You guys are open that late?
I look like a sausage in jean shorts, you should have woken up earlier and approved my outfit.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
You were Q-tipping mashed potatoes out of your ear.
And I can taste the vodka through my ears. Good god.
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
Randomize