the chair was smiling at me in sociology and i had to try not to burst out laughing.
i saw like six of her guido cousins in the jersey shore trailer alone. her family is having a dinner party for the premiere tonight.
she quoted hannah montana in her facebook status. i will never be speaking to her in person again.
Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I found him with a guitar and his kitten in his room. He was singing a song he'd titled "you're a cat". Guess what most of the lyrics were...
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
Got to the gym, getting changed, found a jello shot in my shoes.
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Randomize
