Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
it hurts more in the daytime
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
Two grown ass men just come into the bar riding humongous tricyles
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
yeah a little bit of me felt bad about it. But the rest of me was having sex with him.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
Is it wrong i wouldn't sleep with him because his boxers said #1 dad all over them?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
Cats are difficult to handle. Also they are impossible to baptize.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
