I'm at his house. He has VELCRO shoes. I'm too desperate to leave...I may need help in thee life dept
Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I need you to stand in the corner and ref this threesome. Wear stripes.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
Why does my jaw hurt?
I may have punched you.
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
I'm hungover laying in my moms bed watching Space Jam.. Adult Life..
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Let's get drunk and take out your tonsils tonight
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
He can be a kind, caring soul but also give in to the temptation of eating unicorn ass.
Randomize
