I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
all they had in the fridge was rum and filled water balloons
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
Man, jail baloney is awful.
omg i hate the new neighbors. why cant a bitch just be hungover in peace on a wednesday morning.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
they sound like some classy girls.
Hey, I don't give them daddy issues, I just take advantage of it. The real bad guy here is American parenting.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Lol for real, I'm Kylie Jenner "this is my year of realizing things" right now
I'M HANGING OUT WITH THE DRUG DEALER UPSTAIRS JUST SO I CAN STEAL HIS WIFI PASSWORD, I HOPE Y'ALL LOVE ME.
Randomize
