And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
btw theres a pine tree in the downstairs shower. the guys thought it would be a great free air freshener.
So I'm thinking next semester you should be my own personal maid, nurse, masseuse and chef in exchange for free lodging, any food you can find, and unlimited access to my reproductive organs.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
We are gonna sacrifice to and pray to every god in this world that he doesn't find out about her sleeping with his old roommate.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I need two food groups: booze and turkey sandwiches
No way in hell. Unless I was drunk Tindering again....my swiping finger gets drunk too I guess
I feel like people expect me to always be a sarcastic, shade throwing drunk. And you know me, I hate to disappoint.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
is caitlin alive?
ya she's alive she's watching a movie
ok remind her she drank toilet water then.
Randomize
