Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
What did you give her? She's trying to tape her wrists so her hands don't fall off.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
All I've eaten today is cookie dough, pecan pie and three shots of jack. Finals week here I come.
there is vodka in my soul right now. The vapor is coming out my nose.
I still have way too many Frat houses to get blackout drunk at before I'm get in any type of relationship
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
All I've had to eat today are potatoes...and by that I mean vodka and chips
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
