I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
just thought you should know that she got home at about 6am.... totally wasted. she was locked out and when i finally came to the door she was on a patio across the street with some random making hotdogs on somebodys elses bbq.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
I send out my deepest condolences for seeing my ass last night.
I told him I was ready for another round and he said, "after this part." What guy chooses James Bond over pussy?!
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
I'll text you when I have a mental breakdown about it.
Please do.
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