Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
I'm at the bar and they've turned up lady gaga to cover the sound of the fire alarm.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
Omg that was my second thought of the morning.
First was that we had pop tarts.
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
he was the first penis i touched… i have to go to his shitty bands first gig, i mean come on now
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
well you did quote socrates while playing beer pong and then proceeded to fall down
Randomize
