did you get engaged???
Just saw a policeman use his lights to go through a red light only to turn them off and go to Sonic...
I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
I'm wearing boardshorts as underwear to work. This is bachelorhood
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
Will do. If it all falls thru I'm just gonna set up a sprinkler in my back yard and run thru it while taking jello shots. Perfect alternative to my 29th bday.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
Random pof guy just messaged me initiating a Pokemon battle. Want to be a bridesmaid?
Can you repeat that, but with context?
then I ended up getting a lapdance from my TA...I love college.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
She really wants to put my dick in her mouth, and to be honest I really don't want to put it there.
Randomize
