Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
Just learned how to deliver a baby.the things i saw tonight can never be unseen
I officially lit my glove on fire while lighting the bong. Winter needs to end.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
She just rubbed her face all over pool chalk. I feel like it's time to go
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
Hung over does not do it justice. I am hung like a horse over. I am hungover and over and over. I am hung, drawn and quartered fucking over. They just told me I can't keep my sunglasses on in the office. Fuck drinking with you people.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
I apparently started to text you last night. All it said was 'the whole clam'. I hope that means something to you.
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
somehow I feel like "adventures with cocaine and molly" wouldn't be an appropriate "How I Spent My Spring Break" essay topic.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Does it get any better than dating a guy with a vasectomy? The answer is NO. No it does not
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