he just texted me two pictures of his dick. i feel i should rethink whatever vibe im obviously giving out
so is it as big as he says?
he put a tube of toothpaste next to it as a reference. it looks legit
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
People are yelling about how much they want you here.
I'm going to change, vomit up my mexican food to save the trouble later, and then come meet you. Thrilled.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
My stomach literally has no contents left. Tequila cleanse=success.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
No amount of beer will make me feel better about this. It's time for Emergency Whisky
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
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