I don't think you know how difficult it is to pee in poncho..
Who wears a wallet chain?!
You know im sick of people that are still obsessed w obama. that was sooooo last year
Goldfish can't live in a bowl filled with tequila, lesson learned.
I woke up alone at my apt. On the floor with the door wide open, but still. Success.
Dont forget about the tuna sandwich behind your TV
My contribution to the dinner party was a bottle of vodka and a bag of uncooked potatoes. I felt like a Russian serf.
Why do I have a missed call from "The Anaconda" ?
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
He said his name was Tony, after last night I will refer to him as Tiny
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
I kept yelling "BY ORDER OF THE PEAKY FUCKING BLINDERS" in a terrible brummie accent at everyone I saw wearing a flatcap.
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
Randomize
