Whod you bang
the night i cant remember will be the night i always remember thanks to my "i
I wish i knew how bad drinking and hieghts were before i got up here
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
With 4 extra seconds dedicated to the dong.
These kind of text worry me.
well considering the guy who just delivered my cookies had to console me as i had a mental breakdown in front of him i'd say i'm 4/10 right now, thank you
Chick in the reindeer getup puked on Baby Jesus last night. But then she bought us all empanadas so she's cool.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I fucked him on shrooms. His dick looked like a missile and he had snakes coming out of his ears. It. Was. AWESOME!
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
