He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
The bartender laughed but the manager kicked me out when the mom conplained. There's no way my fart harmed that baby in any way
Why does he only make me orgasm when I'm about to break up with him?
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Did I at antime last saturday slip away and sign up for a prayer circle?
almost getting arrested is turning into fucking this cop in his ex wife's lawn. see you tomorrow
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I got outsmarted by a door tonight. Twice.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
How is it that I can make it to my 8am Friday morning still drunk after passing out the night before...but not to my 9am on Tuesday that I went to bed early for? Irony or karma?
Okay so my roommate deals some drugs so whenever he leaves we can hook up, be ready
I didn't know I was the on call booty call damn
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
