He can hate all he wants but were fucking with these crocs on
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
It's only slutty when someone else does it. It's okay if it's us though
I made weed fried chicken. What have you done today?
I won't go into too much detail about this but you should probably wash your sheets. In bleach. Or just burn them. Thanks for letting me sleep in your bed bro. Enjoy scotland.
On a side note Tyler is buying beer from a gas station in a panda suit priceless
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
Whenever I'm not in the mood and don't want to go to bed swampy, I just strategically suck him off during the second period intermission of the Cup playoffs and he leaves me alone and does the dishes. It's a win-win.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I changed his contact info to "NO" and a picture of satan
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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