Condoms? Check. Glitter? Check. Fuck me pumps? Double check. Dignity? No where to be found. I'm about to homewreck the shit out of that dumb bitch.
I've been meaning to talk to you about your lack of self-respect these days and the toll it's taking on your vagina.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
I was just counting ceiling tiles when he ate me out, it was that bad.
So I'm seriously debating forwarding these sexts to his horse faced new gf including the ones that say he still loves me... but I still need his check to clear... decisions decisions
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
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