I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
Its 4 am and he honestly tried throwing pizza at his ceiling for decorations
Sudue. BIG CUP LOTS OF NOMNOMD TUOSPY
The bet was for naked jumping jacks. And it back fired, she just laughed at all the slapping noise.
I was worried he'd break you after the hiatus your lady parts had to take from social interaction.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
She hash-tagged my name. I think it's safe to say that she remembers our hookup.
Am I over stepping my bounds if I ask to fuck in your new bathroom?
It has heated floors
I'm super stoned watching the vatican smoke cam. Come over.
Dude... She just sent me a story of how she wants to fuck me on a boat and call me her captain.. Well ahoy mateys, lets set sail
Just participated in the saddest thing: Cheetos. Handjob. I have lost at life
He wants me to tell you "my boner misses you"
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Look fucker, my sensibility and attention to detail is the ONLY REASON you're not dead now
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