The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
I just want to jump into a ballpool of dicks now.
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
Emergency nipple ring removal:vodka, tweezers, and vodka. Can you bring me a band-aid?
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
I ran into a wall that clearly had things popping out. My eyebrow was bruised, both arms, the bottom of my foot. Lost half of my finger nail, my fake eyelash was stuck in my hair and I have about 47 blurry pictures of a half naked zombie DJ.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
Idk I saw a cheetah print onesie and it reminded me of your Lion King fantasy.
None of what you just said was coherent
I just bought wine at a gas station what the hell do you expect
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