Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I watched the entire movie Forgetting Sarah Marshall before I realized it was in Spanish.
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
Just beat 2 Norwegian women in beer pong. Never been so proud to be an American.
It was ths the worst 15 minutes of my life. . . It was like fucking a warm stick of butter.
Apparently all year they've been using me as a standard of drunkenness
On a side note the mornings you do so much Xanax that you wake up totally at one with the universe and feel invincible are great
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
Question: trumpet bong. Can it work.
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Fun Fact: I do not remember what its like to be sober between drinking off and on for two weeks at my "vacation" and being on painkillers for my mouth now
Today in French class my teacher was singing "what does the fox say" so i started answering in similar satanic ritual noises
Sorry for all the snapchats, I wanted you to feel like u were in America getting plastered with me
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
Wtf happened last night
You traded your bra for a shot so I'd say you probably don't wanna know
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