Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
i jus got home and totaly forgot i had nut all over the back of my shirt
..im mad u rememberd about that
I have got to stop getting laid on my lunch breaks. I AM SO HUNGRY RIGHT NOW.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure which one did it but one of them fucked the kink out of my neck
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
We found him. He was passed out in a McDonalds booth with at least 6 big Mac wrappers. The employee said he kept yelling that he was in America and had the freedom to have big macs. Fucking Italians...
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
My husband gave me a key to his house. I thinks this means we're getting kinda serious.
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
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