is it considered a "problem" when you find a pickle slice in your bed in the morning or is it like a "super-awesome bonus"?
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
It's barely 9 am & I've already had an ice cube IN my vagina
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
The nurse who basically saved my life just came into the store. Didn't recognize her. Awwwwkward.
at one point he couldn't find his underwear so he put on my catsuit to go to the bathroom
Your cousin just asked the bartender to start a round of vagina shots. Not body shots. Vagina shots. We're taking her out more often.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So like 5 seconds in I realize I knew him in 3rd grade and I went limp in his mouth. It felt like I just murdered the last unicorn ever. Going straight never felt like an option till now.
He kissed my hand AND my forehead. I don't think this virginity business is for heartless whores like us.
I cried at the bouncer while saying I wished he was my father... They had no idea what to do with me.
One less thong to worry about.
One less *thing! But probably that too.
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
Forget work, lets run away, rob banks, and have kinky sex with fuzzy handcuffs.
IT'S LIKE YOU READ MY MIND.
Randomize