the only thing he could say in english were 'insert coin here' and 'game over'. i love spanish men.
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
AND OMG I HOPE YOU ARE GREAT WITH CHILD. COOK THAT BUN!
Seriously, it sounds like someone is torturing a dozen cats inside a Japanese techno club while a jamaican yells random hipster words through a megaphone.
Thank you for calling me on to a higher level of debauchery. fuck anyone who says we aren't good for each other
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Yeah started playing at the wedding last night, when the line. "Ludacris fills cups like DD" he starts pointing at my tits right in front of his grandparents.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
A seagull just tried to steal my cellphone
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
I love you, but seriously, that was way too long a thesis on an Arby’s curly fry being wrapped around schlong!
Randomize
