I just did your MASH and your life is pretty unfortunate. Youre marrying the tech guy for love. you live in a shack and you're a hooker and you make $1 a day. you drive a brown limo and you have 7 kids
last week i woke up at this guys house...this week i woke up at his ex girlfriends
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Come over we're celebrating the one month anniversary of her first 4/20
I swear the crows are laughing at me.
You my friend are stoned into submission
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I may have to marry her. She is smarter than me and has a six figure job and doesn't want to have kids. All I have to be is a trophy husband.
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I mixed Jack with hot chocolate. This may be the best or worst idea ever. I have yet to find that out
Randomize
