So I'm playing pool in my cowboy boots and some guy came up looks at my boots and goes, "you should've got the boots with the fur"
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
did i get hit in the head with a hammer? someone just asked me...
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
woke up to see a man wearing a sailor hat and covered in vomit sneaking out the door. Epic night indeed.
You were sitting in the middle of the floor spewing vodka at people proclaiming "I a whale". That drunk.
PAAAANTS ARE FOR AAAASSHOLES
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
Dudes don't just lick butts of chicks they're not into.
I'm really ok with inappropriate relationships. They are my favorite of all the relationships. No need to be timid. For crying out loud.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Russell is lonely. He needs a companion.
You're lucky you have a monster cock or most people may just laugh at your penis' nickname.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize