so later when i'm crying over him remind me that he once called his penis "senor weeper"
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Drunk me obviously wants to fuck up my life
It's like I have an arch nemesis, and it's me
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
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Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
You know your late night booty call was a huge fail when you go back to your car after it's over, and it's still warm.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
No my problem is I'm working and its a beautiful Saturday. I should be recovering from a hangover and out golfing. Fuck responsibility. I miss college.
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