We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
This is how scared I get when I ride roller coasters. And how scared I was when I had to poop when I had herpes.
My mom is helping me re-arrange my room to make New Year's more hook-up friendly
i was on the fence about his sexual orientation until he referred to his marlboro loghts as "carrie bradshaws"
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as of this morning I have officially vommed on the highways of 6 different countries. It's a proud moment.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
When I'm famous, she'll look at her kids and go "I saw her buttcheeks beefore she was famous. I'm truly blessed."
I could see myself being this awkward weirdo drunk girl that patted strangers and danced terribly but was powerless to stop it
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the night was just a blur of sex and pie
So you called me the queen of nudes yesterday and I'm still not sure how I feel about it
I think i should either cut my hair or buy a dildo.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
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