let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
After 4 hours of foreplay he passed out and almost immediately peed in my bed. Naked. Like a fountain. Then tried to deny it in the morning by saying he just sweats a lot.
New scientific discovery: The hypothetical attractiveness of a woman increases exponentially as her skirt:boot ratio approaches zero. Nobel Prize in my future?
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
I can't help but be optimistic. I'm like a ball of slutty sunshine.
She's echoing.. Her head must be in the toilet..
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
sometimes u just have to say fuck it and help a straight sixteen year old break into her uncles gay bar.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
Well then sir I'll probably see you tomorrow after my class and at 3 with your clothes off. Sounds like a solid way to start the weekend to me
Getting free blow from a total stranger, who asked permission to stroke my eyebrows, was the highlight of my evening out. Also, I have a new cuddle dealer.
he asked me if i wanted to hook up & my answer was 'why not'. he came in thirty seconds and the condom broke. it's the love story of the century
I JUST WOKE UP WITH MY UBER DRIVER
I prefer to think of hangovers as extreme sobriety, which can only be cured by more booze
Randomize
