I think we need to take a brake
What upsets me the most about that is that you spelt it 'brake'
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
Drunk
Deyhxbr
Fucaerrrrr
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Think of where it's been though. That Dr. Suess book, "Oh the Places You'll go" was written for his penis.
you started looking at my couch laughing and saying to it "she thinks I'm talking to you" then proceeded to laugh and talk to the couch some more.
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Grandma is giving me marriage advice again. On the plus side, she thinks I'm straight now.
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I knew how high you were when you put a french fry in your mouth and said 'fuck, this tastes like meat but feels blue.'
Fursuit judi Dench just stared directly at me for 3 solid minutes telling me that cats arent dogs and i believe her because if i dont cat jason derulo might try to have sex with me
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