I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All he wants to do is masturbate while I sit there with my big toe up his ass that is not even the worst part of it.
Don't worry. This time I'll get black out drunk so they'll just think it's an American thing.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
How can someone be so bad at fingering? It's such a simple concept
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
It's not even close to Halloween but there is a girl in a nurses outfit. Twerk or twat.
Is being in jail an excusable absence?
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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