Also, the republican called me again last night. He called me dumb and ugly then begged to come over. Gosh... he knows how to make me want him...
its like his balls were made of silver and he was trying to polish the tarnish off
You were so drunk that you were trying to take pictures of a MILF at the park so you could send them to Adam, but you didn't want to "seem creepy," so you used taking pictures of her son as a cover. Needless to say, cops were called.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
it was like he was trying to blow his nose in my vagina
Our local strip club now has karaoke. Do you realize what this could mean for my sex life?
I need moral support for this bender
I like to balance the number of cups of coffee to bong rips in the morning before work.
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
I'm like a freaking volcano of life and sexual frustrations
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
At the light, his mom pulled up next to us while I was giving him road head. He forgot to tell me she was meeting us at the movie. So long story short, I convinced her I drove myself, pick me up in 20.
Typical Sunday morning text...are you alive?
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Randomize
