i miss vodka and anonymity. college is so rich in both. in college we are a many armed creature, lubricated with beer and sex.
Idk man, it felt like my skin was a suit and I could feel it zipping up my side and up to my mouth. And then my head felt like a ventriloquist dummy's head, with the jaw thing..it was freaky, dude
You think that's a metaphor for anything, champ?
Shut the hell up.
like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
so he made me dinner last pm @whch point i askd if i could help out. he hands me his fucking laundry and asks me 2 do it
only you. it could only happen to you.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
I just found out that the liquid capacity of my breasts is 700ml each. I should not be left alone at home when drunk.
Isn't it statistically impossible for THAT many ugly people to be in one place at one time?
You did a line of free coke with an obese Slovenian unlicensed cab driver in the toilets of the most questionable strip club in the country. New low man.
When you put it like that, I'm inclined to agree.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
Hey, I told her the bathroom was a "No fly zone" after I used it. She willingly allowed her nose to go through that pain. It's her fault, she only supplied me with vodka when she knows I only drink rum.
If ur gunna go fuck a guy that's in the baseball hall of fame do you need to shave your legs? I'm so lazy
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
when part of the plan includes getting high, i usually forget how the rest of the plan goes.
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Randomize
