Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
im just going to superglue mistletoe to my forehead and see what happens
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
Lead with your genitals is the best advice I can give you.
They don't even know who I am but they just woke me up with maracas and invited my boobs to a kegger
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I air guitared a man's prosthetic leg on the bar to Bruce Springsteen. That's how it's going
I could fuck to npr.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
THERE IS A MAN IN THE BATHROOM IN COLONIAL GARB GET HERE
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
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