? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
my phone is set on vibrate and its tucked up in my left front pocket. call me back 20 times real quick.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You owe me 10 bucks. He wasnt in jail. Found him at 530 this morning when the smoke alarm went off. He passed out naked in the middle of cooking bacon. No idea where he was before that.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
If I could drink as much and have the amount of sex he has at his age, well I'd probably be dead
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
And when were you going to tell me to stop dancing on his coffee table singing "come on irene?"
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
Randomize
