Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
You told my mother that her salad dressing tasted like semen.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She called me her ex's name in a supermarket. How boring am I that she livens up shopping by thinking of another guy?
he went to find a bathroom and came back 10 minutes later with a fifth of bacardi, a pack of cigarettes, and two funnel cakes. he is a man among boys.
Also, I am ligit concerned that I might compulsively start collecting vibrators like Pokemon.
After a certain point, you just want to make it work. Prove to yourself that you're smarter than the vibrator.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
His dick is hereby named Charles Dickens. Will's is less cerebral. I'd like to call it Pinnacle like the vodka we drank when we hooked up, but I feel like that's a compliment it doesn't deserve.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Wtf did i hit my head on?
Tequila
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
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