and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
His foreplay reminded me too much of breastfeeding.
Lesson learned. Never get fingered on an airplane.
Apparently I walked up to him, mumbled something incoherently, then started to make out with him. Why does this always happen.
When I was with you my penis felt like a fat woman crammed into a pair of lulu lemons
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
She could makes a perfectt roast dinner drunk but she nearly sets the kitchen alight microwaving popcorn.
I have to have sex on a bidet. I'm not sure what kind, but it's reason #4 for an Italian vacation!
well don't blame me. sometimes vibrators go missing and people get angry. these things happen
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
He is obviously into the really short sex we have.
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
Randomize
