I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
I am midnight drunk by noon
She asked me to cum on her. ON her. I think we're out of the friend zone
Do you know any thirteen year old jewish kids? I'm looking for a party.
Apparantly 7 1/2 Vicodin is a 1/2 too many.
it would be nice to just get drunk, not hook up with anyone, and not die this weekend
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
they paper machayed me.
i told you ... never pass out drinking with preschool teachers.
I hope they realize that to me "collecting their mail" is synonymous with "fucking in every room in their house, and twice in the party shower."
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
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