When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
My near death experience also doubled as my coming out story
they all just nodded
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Welcome to the south, dude. Gives the phrase "I wish you a dry ass" a new perspective.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Try me, you 5'5 gremlin
Randomize
