I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
i found her turbo button.....if you know what i mean.
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Yeah I'm a responsible adult man but I legally unbind myself from anything that occurred that evening and am in no way responsible for those actions.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
A stripper just invited me to her daughter's birthday. Where did my life go wrong?
the only joy I get out of her anymore is hitting on her friends and ignoring her. it's chaos for them. like shaking a slutty ant farm
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Oh. Why can't it be something easy, like a punch card for blowjobs?
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
there's no judgement here...i was recently just fingered in my dorm hallway while having a conversation with 5 people.
Randomize
