Vodka infused whipped cream. Shit just got real.
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
hey, its the girl who gave you a bloody nose and paid you back with a blow job. have you seen my shoes?
How the hell did he get a boner in that type of situation?
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
She made out with the kickboxers bf. She was just asking to get kicked in the head. In the middle of the bar.
I don't see how I managed to fuck up so much shit in an hour and a half..
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I have to pee in a cup in the morning and they are going to say....you just peed a miller light. I'm going to hang my head in shame and say yes...yes I did.
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Don't date the locals. They're all tainted.
I honestly don't understand how your night went from singing a touching rendition of Africa to an angry political rant to low key trying to find a frat boy to bang to doing dishes to yoga
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
