After last night, I could never be a politician.
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
i wish i could "like" people's thoughts in real life like i can on facebook
you can....by speaking....
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so i woke up.. still drunk and discovered my roommate in the living room passed out dick-in-hand watching porn..
What did u do?
turned the porn up and opened the windows so everybody goin to class could see him..
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
I AM OVULATING LIKE A STEAM ENGINE.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
I remember doing shots of gin, then I have this strange memory of us making out in the womens room at waffle house.
I regret none of it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
Took it for the first time last night, and i saw a giant pillsbury boy coming after me with a wrench in his hand.
I'm stuck on a cliff. I'm not sure how I got here or how to get down. Please send help. And clothes.
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