I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
That's what you get for not wearing a bra and jumping on a trampoline
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
So gin and wine won't be happening again
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
I said i love rain, just to change the subject, and he said 'id like to do it in the rain'. Dear lord. He doesnt stop
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You told me if you could get your shoes on, you deserved a coke and rum. We never made it to the party.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
Tonight we learned that just because we can fit a Tic Tac in the tip of my penis that does not mean we should.
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
He said he's going to karaoke tonight and I just spilled a bunch of Cheetos on the floor and ate them all. So that's my night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
I'm recovering from the blowjob...She's doing her taxes...
Randomize
