Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
So when jo picked me up from the bar I kept apologizing and kept telling her "I'm just a wittle donut"
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
you called me at 4 in the morning to tell me that your toaster burnt your english muffin, and that you "fuckin hated that thing."
Girl just texted me a pic of her boobs with the caption "don't think I'm a whore"
Let's get back to talking about you giving me a blow job.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I couldn't really understand you because you were really quiet and I said "I don't know what you're saying, it's kind of a big mumble" and you said "that sums up my life"
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
I'm sittin in my Hawaiian shorts watching the office eating cold asparagus. wow do I suck when you're not here.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
Randomize
