I only kidnapped one of them. chill
i'm dressed up like the coppertone baby and being hit on a guy in a monk costume. the irony is not lost on me.
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Yeah Greg found him eating out of a tuna can with a pill cap
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Right now you and beer are my only friends.
Gave his drunk ass water, & he poured it on my shirt while saying "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!" When reminded of it today he replied with, "at least you came in first place"
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
My throat is burning
Thats because you proceeded to drink the salsa because you thought it was alcohol...dumbass
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
I just talked comic books with a cop. We high-fived as he was running my name.
Proud of you.
We discussed the legality of being a vigilante. I won.
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
How was it?
i think i smell bacon but im to sore to walk downstairs. that kinda night
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