Just saw a teacher from our school with his wife... Now i really know how little teachers get paid.
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
I'm having a really difficult time dealing with the fact that my dog now shares a name with Snooki's crotch-spawn.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
I think the exact words were 'I'd lett him to the weirdest shit to me'
My hands are stained pink. I look like I fisted a muppet.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
