Excuse me do you have gonnorhea?
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
If you ever get the opportunity, make fun of how small his dick is for me
Well, when he's back from China he's probably gonna be pissed I used the spare key he gave me to prove to everyone I'm fucking an NBA player. We took all his booze too.
MASS TEXT: Lets start a new tradition. Black Friday log pic contest. I'm waiting.
Im at that shitty point in my day where I start planning night activities while finger dipping vyvance off of my desk, you got any plans?
I kinda feel like I was hit by a Prius. Just glad it's not bus status.
Im hitting on this chick at a stoplight when all the sudden. i notice this chick blowing some dude in the backseat.
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
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