Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
He looked like he was trying to woo a lady version of himself by playing goblin music on his guitar.
Watching boy meets world, drinking left over pink panty droppers and coloring in a my little pony coloring book. This is my Monday night
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
Her mom came in and passed out drunk on the floor next to us while she was riding me, "it's all good, she does this all the time" is what she said
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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