??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
I don`t remember Saturday, actually
Its ok, i dont remember 2007
You puked in the drive thru of Taco Bell. You puked as it was being handed to me. You managed to yell out "FIRE SAUCE" in between hurls.
Couple in the hotel room next to me keep fucking. When I hear her get close I call the room wait for them to stop and hang up. If I'm not getting any tonight then no one should.
You thought last year was bad... a guy dressed as a clown showed up with cocaine
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I made him dress me after we fucked. He put me in TMNT pants and then told me I looked hot.
went out last night. woke up with a lisp.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Jenna is yelling bc of the condom wrappers and cum stains. This is the 3rd and last time you have sex in my roommates bed.
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
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