..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
He calls it "his noble steed" and i plan to ride it.
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
There is what appears to be urine on the woman's bathroom sink. I just have so many questions right now.
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I don't even have his number. I have his pants tho
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Well guess who isn't a virgin anymore
guess who isnt wearing pants has a shaving cream beard and is afraid theres no cream cheese in the fridge
the answer to that last one was me. the answer to the first one is you, you sly dog
Can't talk, I'm icing "sorry I barfed on your couch" onto a cookie cake
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