would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
his mom and i are swapping prescript pills..totally mother in law material.
you can't just make up for the fact that you broke up with me by tagging yourelf in my embarrassing facebook videos of you
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Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
My living room is scattered with glow sticks wrappers, sparklers, face paint & beer cans?
It's not as cool looking when the drugs wear off, is it?
You know it's time to cut back when your unemployed drug dealer roommate tells you that you party too hard.
Dude. Her vagina is a blender.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
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ETSY JUST SENT ME AN EMAIL WITH THE SUBJECT "SUMER ROMANCE" I'M BEYOND FUCKING DONE
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
He told me that I should keep my socks on next time because he read somewhere that it'll help me orgasm...
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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