I think need to divide my DVD collection into "movies I've seen" and "movies I've only seen during sex"
You kept excitedly announcing to the bar what time it was. Followed by an equally excited "Clock language still makes sense!"
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
just won 200$ from the school for "liking" the anti-alcohol seminar. putting it to good use
how?
not even kidding, my fake id is arriving in 6-8 business days
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
handcuff keys just fell out of my bra....wtf happened last night?
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
