Busta Rhymes just yelled at me! He cut a song off and I was clapping and he looked right at me and said "don't fucking clap." I was that white guy.
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
Printing the vagina inspector badge was money well spent.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dude. Steinbecking. It's when you double-fist coffee and alcohol to help you meet a writing deadline.
he has a party story that rivals our "PTSD- soldier-with-a-knife" party story. I'm pretty sure this is part of some prophecy.
Were you seriously humming twinkle twinkle little star while cupping my balls?
I may or may not have tried to give myself a lobotomy
The bride is so wasted, she fell into her cake.I wanna be on her level
Despite how often it occurs, I have absolutely no interest in having sex with myself
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
